Facebook, whose stated mission is to make the world more open and connected,  publicly acknowledged today that its true goal under the direction of CEO Mark Zuckerberg is to open the world’s pockets and connect with their wallets.

In a recent interview, Zuckerberg stated that his company, Facebook, actually has the power to work miracles: “Facebook [gives] people a voice who wouldn’t otherwise have one.”  Apparently Mark Zuckerberg was not aware that people could speak and write letters and make telephone calls and send faxes and sing songs and send texts.

Zuckerberg estimates that it is just a matter of time before he is able to capture the brains and souls of every living human on the planet. “Right now, with social networks and other tools on the Internet, all of these 500 million people have a way to say what they’re thinking and have their voice heard,” says Zuckerberg. Also, they can post videos of themselves drunk and twerking, and share photos of their cats and their new scarves and really important stuff like that.

But 500 million is just the beginning. “We want to help get the next 5 billion people on the Internet and connect,” he told Atlantic magazine.  That way we can all be equally mindless and under the control of the create and powerful Zuck.

Happy Halloween?