Once upon a time, while a Mass Communications major at Cleveland State University, I conducted a research project to prove a three-part theory:

Part 1: Most newspaper readers mostly read headlines and not full stories
Part 2: Most headlines are sensationalized and do not reflect the true content of the article
Part 3: Lots of people assume the content of the story based on the headline and share it via word-of-mouth

My research supported my theory and I was all fired up about this, but then I graduated and I became an agency professional and time went by and then newspapers started dying. But I had a dream last night about a rather strange and globally read newspaper – Alternative International News Times. Here are just a few of the headlines I remember:

White House Gives Trillions to Business, Then Takes It Right Back With Health Care Plan
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Best Buy Offers Preferred Parking Status to Big Screen TV Owners.
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Indians Finally Win World Series; Forced By Congress To Change Team Name To Cleveland Caucasians
• • •
Michael Jackson Still Dead; Larry King Still Alive
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US Department of Labor Blog Says Twitter Negatively Impacts Productivity
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Study Says Coffee Cures Cancer, Causes Heart Failure
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Tiger Woods Finally Wins 15th Major; Apologizes To Fans For Long Wait
•••
Jimmy Kimmel To Replace Conan; Conan To Replace Jimmy Fallon; Jimmy Fallon Not That Funny
•••
Legalized Pot Rescues California Economy; Legalized Pot Rescues California Economy

All the news that fits, we print.